Box Car Racer - I Feel So

Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

™[LINKIN PARK - Breaking The Habit]™

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I’m picking me apart again
You all assume
I’m safe here in my room
(unless I try to start again)

I don’t want to be the one
The battles always choose
‘Cause inside I realize
That I’m the one confused

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I know it’s not alright
So I’m
Breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I’ll paint it on the walls
‘Cause I’m the one at fault
I’ll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don’t know how I got this
I’ll never be alright
So I’m
Breaking the habit
Breaking the habit
Tonight

YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF

I keep telling and reminding you of your acts and yet you don't listen to me. I'm just totally stressed out from the things you do and act. How could i be relax at a moment like this? Can you understand my situation that I am pregnant and yet you give me such a stress. I just hate it that you couldn't consider how i feel and how i am right now. Your friends wouldn't care becauase they don't know the real meaning of RESPONSIBILITY, see all they have is their mommy, daddy and siblings plus girlfriends but you, you are committed to me and to our unborn child. You now know the consequences of your actions and yet i won't have to reveal it here but let me just blow out some of my anger and frustrations. I am so disappointed in you at this moment now and i really don't know how you can redeem yourself in this situation.

IM STRESSED OUT!

I just couldn't help myself about it but the thought just keeps repeating itself in my head. I just hate the way they make me feel as always but i'm gonna be okay don't you guys worry. It's just that why do they have to always be right when they are already wrong. With such beliefs that they know all the answers but the truth is they don't. Why do i have to under go such things but then who would make me strong and a better person than they are. I just feel sick and tired of all these nonsense esp with that certain girl relative (girl??? yes cause the way she acts is like a girl instead of a grown up woman....) It's just hurts knowing that i have these kinds of people surrounding me. All this evil around me makes me feel that no one can escape all their non-sense talks. Aaaahhhhhhhhhh! Why do i have these people around me, why? Can please tell me why????? Feel free to comment about it people please.... hahahaha! anyway i got to go for now.....

Maniwala Ka Sana - Parokya Ni Edgar

finally found the video for this song... LoL!

Silvertoes - Parokya Ni Edgar

i got the video wahahahaha!

depeche mode - somebody

soundtrip ako now! just to be relax...

Goo Goo Dolls - Stay With You

it's such a nice song!

THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS

I'm so excited as of this moment since my parents are on their way here (New Jersey). Although something has never change. Change is good though but they need to understand that my parents are visiting me this time and it's my life they want ot be a part. I do hope they understand that i am in the spotlight not anyone else. I just don't understand why they couldn't just for once think of what they are doing instead of acting impulsively. They are my family and i am their priority after that it's them now. I don't want to dwell on it too much due to me being pregnant and all. I just hope that somehow they would eventually truly understand without feeling left out or being amgry. Anyway enjoy the rest of the weekend.

BiRtHdAy CeLeBrAtIoN @ Margaretville, New York

Birthday balloon
Birthday balloon

Party tables

Preparation for the party!

Flowers for the celebrant

Before the party

Fresh flower on the tableThe candles

Me enjoying the party!!! LoL!

Party Time!

The birthday celebrant Tita Julie

The birthday cake

It's time to make a wish and blow the candle!

Wish! Wish! Wish!

Happy birthday!

Look it's time for Lance to blow the candle!

Wow that was cool!

The Paper dance!

Game time people!

JULY 4, 2007 @ ORCHARD BEACH

This was taken last July 4, 2007. From L-R: Mel and Lance, Liezl, Clong, me, Mike and Mathews (Liezl's son). As you can see in the background was lots of people who came there to enjoy the beach and as well as barbecue party. There were lots of people and well although the weather was not so good a lot of people came and relax since it was the 4th of July.

SUMMER HEAT

This summer heat just makes me feel so not in the mood and it just makes me angrier with stuffs going on with my life. i don't know for some reason every little thing pisses me off and it occured to me now that it might be the pregnancy period or whatever it is, i can't seem to be happy this past few days. It just pisses me off and i hate that feeling.. It just won't go away as much i wanted to. I hate, hate hate everything right now and i don't know what to do. I hate the feeling of not knowing what to do and not knowing how i can make myself be happy and satisfied for the moment. I can't even talk to anyone about it and it just makes me feel so powerless over something that i couldn't understand myself. I guess i juast needed to write it down and express it myself and just maybe i would feel much better. I got a lot of things on my mind right now and it just pisses me off when i can't even do anything about stuffs. But in time i would eventually do. As of now this is it...

Linkin Park- One Step Closer

I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
You'll find that out anyway
Just like before...

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
Just like before

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break

Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up
Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up
Shut up, I'm about to break!

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break (more)

Creed - What if

Eto mega sound trip kasi nakaka-inis eh! Badtrip kasi ako now...

bagsakan by parokya ni edgar feat. francis m and gloc-9

Just saw this new video! Sound trip eh!

Mitsubishi Adventure 2004 Commercial

Nakaka-alis pa itong isa! CooL talaga!

Rebisco BUDDY Parokya Ni Edgar

hehehe! ang kukulit talaga nila... CooL!

PAROKYA NI EDGAR NESCAFE COMMERCIAL

new commercial ng parokya ni edgar... yehey! cool!!!

POCONO, PA

Lance
The Trolley ride

L-R: Kuya JV, Papa JJ, Wendell and Lance

Water falls at the mini golf course

Lunch at Thai Thani

The park

Muah!

The food at Lee Tokyo Steakhouse

Our chef who reminds me of someone but i can't remember who it was.

Gladys posing

"Anak this is how you do it." Inay shows Lance

Showing off my skills at paint ball.

"Look Lance, watch and learn." daddy shows Lance

"Go fro gold Mel!"

Posing fro the camera!

June 30 - July 1, 2007. We (my cousins and friends) went to Pocono, PA for some R & R. Although Ian and Ian wasn't there still i enjoyed the weekend. on our first day we had the Trolley tour and had lunch at a thailand restaurant. Then they went rafting/canoing while i stay at the park to wait for them since i wasn't allowed to since i am pregnant (8 months). I was able to people watch and enjoy my solitude thinking of stuffs going on in my life and how close i am to getting to the finish line (giving birth!) which makes me excited at the thought of it and a little scared at the same time. After we check in at the knights inn motel/hotel, that wasn't really bad since we were going to stay overnite.

2nd day we had breakfast and went to the flea market. I wasn't able to buy anything and was a little disappointed. Anyway after they went riding the go kart and again can't join them. But we did some paint ball and archery which was really cool. After which we went straight to the target shooting but since i was riding in another car with our friend Joanna who had her nephews with her, we had lunch as they went ahead to the target shooting. When we finally got at the target shooting again i wasn't allowed together with my favorite nephew Lance to go inside. Next stop was the waterpark at Camel Beach though it wasn't really a beach in the middle of the mountain but mostly pools. There's a lot of rides and fun stuffs to do. The place was really cool and although it was kind of cold still we enjoyed the kid's pool and the wave pool. Too bad i wasn't able to buy souvenirs from the shops there. Didn't have enought time. Anyway i will posting some photos and will make sure to post more next time.