THE SONGS

I've been trying to look for the video of John Mayer's song 3x5 and yet i couldn't find one. Oh well that's enough of my songs and this songs just reminds me of a lot of things in my life. Especially the one with John Mayer's, that's how i wanted to share how my life has been since i came here and to share it with my bestfriend JAY. I really, really miss this guy. For some reason i wanted him to see how life would be here. It's so different with all the freedom i get. I guess this is my lifestyle and not back home.

While Dream of Me by Kirsten Dunst just reminds me of how i was when i haven't found love. Of how i long to be with the boy i like and of how he should've known of the feelings i have for him. Wow such drama in my life. I do admit that most of the times i am a drama queen but then again try to enjoy everything that i have.

It's Labor Day today and we have some adventures to go to. So i just might have some photos and try to post it later. I'll keep you guys updated... Enjoy the day and the rest of the week ahead!

3x5 (John Mayer)

I'm writing you
to catch you up on places I've been
You held this letter
probably got excited, but there's nothing else inside it
didn't have a camera by my side this time
hopping I would see the world with both my eyes
maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way with words
Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche'
And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
are next to mountains anyway
Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world with both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside just no more 3x5's
Guess you had to be there
Guess you had to be with me
Today I finally overcame tryin' to fit the world inside a picture frame Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
no more 3x5's
just no more 3x5's

DREAM OF ME

Let me sleep for when I sleep
I dream that you are here
Your mine and all my fears are left behind
I float on air
the nightingale sings gentle lullabyes
so let me close my eyes and sleep
for chance to dream
so I can see the face I long to touch
to kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
so let the moon shine softly on the boy I long to see
and maybe when he dreams
he'll dream of me
Up high beneath the clouds
I'd whisper to the evening star
they tell me love is just a dream away, dream away
dream away dream away
I'll dream away
So let the moon shine softly on the boy I long to see
and maybe when he dreams
he'll dream of me
ooh dream of me

Final Fantasy X Yuna & Tidus (Dream of Me by Kirsten Dunst)

MYMP_If You Asked Me To

One of my favorite song.

GOSSIPS...GOSSIPS...GOSSIPS...

RUMOR/GOSSIP is a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others 2 a : rumor or report of an intimate nature b : a chatty talk c : the subject matter of gossip.

Lately this has been my favorite topic, why? Because lately there's this certain family relative who has been trying very hard to make life worse for me. Though she maybe working in a well-known non-government company and i thought she has learned a lot about ethics well i guess she still needs to be re-educated about it. Does she even know when to draw the line? Who is she to talk to love ones behind my back? I don't think that she is being "CONCERNED" about me and my life being on my own. I can't even think of any reason why she would be doing these things because as i recall i haven't even done anything bad to her and her family. So why do all these things happen?

Does she even realize what she has been doing all these time? BUT this i can assure you she can never BREAK me, of who i am and what i have become. I have chosen a life i know i can survive. If she envies the freedom that i have growing up then why bother repeating her life pattern with me. Does she know we have different generations? A person who is miserable with her life due to choices she made would not be happy for other people's happiness. We all have flaws and our life is not perfect nor do any person in this world. In God's eyes there's no rich or poor, He doesn't choose people who goes to heaven through that. So why does she even bother?

The thing that pisses me off is how she could ever face me with such innocent face like she didn't do anything at all. I really hate it when i encounter such people, why are they in this world? She goes on with life knowing inside her that people hates her but then does she really know it? Well i think i am ready to face the bully in my life.... i am just having enough courage to face it!

RyAn's PaGe

Wala lang just thought of posting these pictures that i edited meaning tsugi ang mga beauty ng katabi ni papa RYAN... ( hahaha i feel so bad!) Ayan na mylen yun hanap mo ficture from me with his eyeglass di an sya sunglass.... up until now naloloka na ko nun makita ko sya... hahaha! Have a nice weekend ahead you all!

FiSHiNG! FiSHiNG AnYoNe?

LANCE

He loves ice cream that much!

ARE YOU IN HEAT? (AKO VERY MUCH!!!)

Who would have thought that i would finally see him in person again and even had the chance to shake his hand and kiss him on the cheek. He's really nice and he even stopped before going to his room. I know, i know ang babaw ko but then that was a long time dream just to be able to meet him or talk to him and whatever... i'll be happy and satisfied. He's one of my inspiration for some reason he just makes my day and well i never stopped admiring him. Another reason for me to smile whenever i think about him. Naku bka magalit na boyfriend ko... LoL! My NeY knows naman that i love him and this thing with PaPa RyAn A. it's just a crush! This was taken yesterday August 19, 2006 at Marriot Courtyard Secaucus,NJ.

RYAN AGONCILLO...

Last night as i was studying suddenly Doc sent me a message telling me that he had dinner with Ryan Agoncillo and the whole entourage at Minado's in Little Ferry (japanese restaurant). At first i couldn't believe him for he usually tease me with stuffs and i even told him how he's like that boy who cried wolf story. Not until i confirmed it that it was indeed Ryan Agoncillo to whom he sat across him and even had the chance to talk. I was surprise because all these time he knew how i had this major crush on Ryan Agoncillo and how i told him he looks like him. Now they saw each other face to face, who would have known what a small world we have.

Anyway wow today is our 1 year and 7 months anniversary! It's been that long now! It still amazes me everytime i take a moment to just think and refresh my memories of how everything started between us. I'm just happy and enjoying every moment of my life.

Enjoy the weekend folks!

P.S.

I'm not sure if i'm going to see my PAPA RYAN AGONCILLO this weekend but i do envy Doc (still crossing my fingers!)...

ChOcOLaTe... So HeAvEnLy!!!

So this has been going on for weeks and well i've been looking for this chocolate brownie recipe that i saw on TV (Guess been watching too much foodnetwork!) but up until now i couldn't find it. I have the recipe and all but i don't know the name. Guess i've been wanting to make it and master it just like the cheesecake that i usually do whenever there's a special occasion. Anyway wala lang i'm just obsessing about it for weeks now but haven't had the chance to do it. Maybe in time hehehe! Got other priorities before anything else.

Arg.... brownies! not the magic brownies where you'd get high or whatever! Well that's for now folks... gtg.... enjoy the weekend ahead!

Silvertoes

Just learned how to add videos from Mylene... Hehehe! The song is from my favorite band Parokya ni Edgar. Wala trip ko lang sya since it has a good melody and the lyrics is so cool. Syempre may i dedicate ito sa mga girls na ganech... hahahahaha!

My FaVoRiTe ScEnE

For those who don't know this tsinovela well it's a taiwan based tv series and it has become so popular esp back home (Philippines). I just love how both the character loved each other.

OLD MEMORIES

When i think of my highschool years and college life i am very thankful for everything that had happened to me in the past. I had such a wonderful life and well good memories od last forever though i do try to forget the bad ones. Here's a photo of my circle of friends back in college. This was taken during Gani's birthday which we celebrated at another friend's place. Those were the days... hay ang sarap alalahanin... I miss these guys syempre kahit may konting drama back then everyone was cool about stuffs. I guess time does make you strong and so does the friendship though maybe when people lose touch they also lose the friendship but for me it's not like that. Remember this Mylene???? Ang kukulit natin noon di ba? Wala i was just checking our yahoo group and saw the photos. It kind of reminded me of how it was back then.... Anyway hope everyone had nice start of the week.

THE WEEKEND THAT WAS

This was the train ride we had last weekend July 22-23,2006. It was not a long time plan even to begin with but we planned quick trip to margaretville, NY. As usual the guys went to their favorite hobby that is fishing at the river. We stayed at a new place called Alpine Osterias a bed and breakfast which was owned by Scott a good friend of Charlotte the one who owns Gateway Lodge (another bed and breakfast that we used to stay at everytime we go there). Just what we needed away from the city life, time to relax and just enjoy the weekend.

FOLLOW YOUR HEART

"The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending. And that's not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown. And once you do, you can never go back." Liz Parker (Roswell)

No matter where you are and what you are doing right now there are days like these your mind starts to wonder about your life. I believe that things do happen for a reason and i've always said that in the past as always. For some reason my mind wonders for time to time of things especially about the future. What if and what would happen if things were different but then life seems to be unfair and at times just fine. I can't even say if i am making any sense at all right now. I guess i still have some part of me kept hidden and just spilling everything won't make any sense at all.

My heart has taken me into the unknown place and as of writing i am taking it one day ata a time. Living my life and just enjoying every minute of it. Though at times i don't really show it but deep down i am happy to where i am but then there are soem things that i can't deny the feeling of frustration of having the job i want and for us to be on our own. I've always dreamt that in time things would be different nothing last forever and things do change for a reason. God has his way of showing me how to appreciate my life and the world i live in.

Ayan mega serious na naman lola nyo... ewan ko ba lately i've been thinking and thinking of stuffs. My head wonders a lot and sometimes it makes me worry of little things that i shouldn't be worried. Anyway til my next blog.... Enjoy the rest of the week....

SOME DEEP THOUGHTS

Lately i've been into a lot of thinking and it's because of how my life is going, i'm not complaining but then it's just that things has to change with US. As soon as I get through with my exam and i get a job that i love, well we have to do the TALK. Our priorities has to change and it has to deal with US not anyone else not to be selfish or whatever but if we want to start on our own we better do it soon. I've always been independent and that's how i see things even if i would have a family of my own. I do hope everyone understand that it's better this way. Sometimes when i think of it i try my best to understand but then there are times that i feel that i've had enough. It's just that things has been different when it comes to my point of view. I guess there's a time and a place for everything.

Anyway just wanted to share my deep thoughts! Enjoy the long weekend but for most of us who has work on Monday just go with the flow...

JUNE 19-22, 2006 VACATION

Statue of Liberty

NYC 42nd Street

Atlantic City

Hershey Park

LET"S DRINK TO THAT....

When i'm in my thinking mode just like now because i can feel my the world spinning around me since i am a little bit drunk due to hurricane this drink that we bought from a liquor store. This usually happens i act on my impulsive side and taht is my thinking mode. As of writing the world around me is spinning and i would like to remember this day for some reason. I know it's bad to expect thing from people but then how could i help it when i expect soemthing good about a person to act mature and to know better but then when they turns you down and make an act you're not expecting them to doi it just pisse you off just like i am right now.... ewan ko siguro i'm just used to being a good girl after all being good and all... yun lang! basta as of writing this piece i am DRUNK.... hahahahahahahaha........

ROSES ARE RED

Lately my Ney has been buying me roses and i do appreciate the thought but it's really not his style to be romantic for he is not the romantic type. For some reason i do accept the fact that he is not and i do appreciate him for who he is. This is how it usually happens we go to pathmark and we pass by the flower/plant section as we go on our way to the vegetable section and i just looked at the flowers, he notices it and then says would you like to buy the flowers. Then i would reply it's up to you but deep down i do want it. Then i would tell him that's not a question to ask me about and still he would ask me but buy me flowers anyway.

I love the fact that he knows what i like and the way he knows me very well makes me feel good inside. I'm so thankful for everything i have right now and though i still wished for something else i can say that i feel secured already.

Oh well enjoy your weekend everyone!

THE FORBIDDEN KISS (back then)

June 4, 2006 I was invited together with my cousin Kuya JV for our other cousins dinner party at LUA restaurant in Hoboken, New Jersey. Prior to that occassion i have been exchanging emails with an old friend (let me call him Doc Ryan for everyone who doesn't know him) since what had happened to my nephew Lance and he was the one who helped with my nephew's situation. Anyway since then we've been emailing each other, asking about the dinner party and all i get is a confusing answer. It was sort of exciting and at the same time feeling old memories back then but then i have my IaN so everything has changed since then. The feelings for Doc Ryan has been dormant and might not be the same if we see each other again. But deep down i have a feeling that i would see him on this particular occassion.

When we got to the restaurant, i immediately look for him hoping that i got there first before he did, why? for the simple reason that i would want to be ready when i see him. It's been what 3 years since i last saw him or even talked to him. I had to cut everything off between us since I had to avoid that certain situation cause I know for sure that we could have been more than friends if I continue to do so. So there was i talking with my friends and cousins. When i saw him walking towards the entrance outside. I pretended that I didn't see him but then my friends saw him and they started to tease me about it. I was like "Okay he's here." kind of not so surprised about him being there when i knew from the start that he could be there. The moment i did finally said hi was when i went to the bar to get my cousin a drink and i mumbled "hey you!" and he greets me back as well. We said a couple of hi and hello mentioning about the email then i told him i have to go back to the table.

All through out dinner we weren't given the chance to talk like old friends but then when i volunteered to take the video cam and took videos of everyone i was able to talk to him for a while. He asked why id idn't gave him my cellphone number and out of friendship i gave him my number that night. Then all through out the night we kept exchanging text messages. It was nice seeing doc ryan again but this time it's different it's more of friendship than anything else. The last text i got from him before he left the restaurant was "When will you call me?" which by the way made me smile. I did bid him goodbye with a hug and he kissed me on the cheek.

Oh well i think i've said enough for now and i do think i've had enough coffee for now...

MEMORIAL WEEKEND AT MARGARETVILLE, NY

First photo was taken at Belleayre Mountain, we were supposed to ride on the chair lift but then it was closed due to memorial day, look at the nice view. 2nd photo still at Belleayre Mountain just enjoying the magnificent view. 3rd photo my cute nephew Lance swimming in the river, he loves the water. 4th photo Fishing, fishing anyone? My NeY trying to show off his skills. 5th photo My cousin Kuya JV and my NeY Ian fishing while Lance enjoying the water and with mom Mel.

ToP TeN FaVoRiTe PeoPLe

1. Christopher "Ian" P. Bambasi - who could be #1 in my list and #1 in my heart. His sense of humor is one of his best quality and the way he takes care of me as I take care of him. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. He's one of the most important person in my life. He has change my life tremendously and I am very thankful that i met him.

2. Mylene S. Dizon- My, My she's one of those people i ran to whenever i need someone just like Celeste. We've been through together a lot. Ups and downs and we did one time share a someone but that didn't stop us from being friends. We could always read each other's mind and even finish each other's sentence. I knew from the moment we became close that she's worth keeping and that will never change.

3. Celeste Bolaños-Reyes- She's my childhood friend and up until now we've been friends. We've been through a lot. She's one of my strenght and she keeps me grounded. She's one of those people that I can talk to about anything under the sun. She knows the real me inside-out. She's the wind beneath my wings, someone who i can count on everything though at times we don't usually talk but i know that we have this deep connection between us.

4. Joseph "Jay" B. Guadalupe - My bestfriend for so many years i could easily say that since it's true. We just met through a text message he sent by mistake and from that we became bestfriends. He's my computer guy since he knows a lot about it. I thank God for giving me Jay, who could have thought that i would find someone like him. We talked like we haven't seen each other or talked like an hour or so ago since we both are a big talker in a way that we can tell each other everything that's happening in our life. Now that we're really apart i miss everything that we do together. I'm happy to know that HE can open up to me about things that bother him esp with his girlfriends that come to think of it the count has reached my age... LOL!

5. Lorie Balasabas - We met at the part time job we had at a Filipino store we both used to work at. We had so much fun working and chatting at the same time. It just so happens that we clicked, we have so much in common that we can talk about anything under the sun. May it be some conflicts or some gossips we found out. Movies we love movies! We're such coffee lovers that we could drink 2-4 cups of it during work. One of the things i admire is her determination on anything she does and puts her mind to it. She has been a very good friend of mine.

6. Teresa "Ate Tere" Versoza - Well she's my co-worker and a very good friend. We talked about things in life and when you're with her there's never a dull moment. She's full of life and i do learn a lot from her especially when we talked about "sex education 101". She's the "SEX GURU" and has lots of stories based from experience... hahahaha! When i have some trouble in cooking or need a recipe for something or need to ask for directions she's the one i run to.

7. Mae Compuesto - Although she's my boyfriend's bestfriend, she has become one of my favorite people, someone real and someone whose such an inspiration. She's been through a lot but she has an extraordinary persona. She's a true friend and she can listen to you when you need her to. She's a hot mama with 2 kids. LOL!

8. Daena Rachel Engalla - She's small and young at the tender age of 10 but she's one of those people i could consider a friend. Since we have this connection between us. We have a lot in common and what i like about her is how i can easily talk to her about stuffs that we both have common knowledge. She makes me feel young at heart and in touch with my inner child.

9. Mike (Fave customer) - This guy can make me smile and just cheers me up everytime i see him. It's like he has this cheerful ray of light around him. He can always brighten up my day even if i have problems and conflicts in life. He knows a lot about Filipino stuffs since his ex-wife was a Filipina. He is really nice and have lots of stories to tell and jokes. He's been to the Philippines.

10. JR Engalla - this cute little boy has this certain charm that everyone would love him. I do enjoy having him around since he has this energy like an energizer that keeps going and going and going... He can easily think of ideas that would make anything crazy. He's a lovable kid and there's never a dull moment when you're with him and his sister Daena.

Will & Grace 4ever Fan...

For some unknown reasons i've been a big fan although when i came here i haven't really watched it as much as i wanted to but i do try every chance i have to watched it. When i learned of the series finale through Mylene... i felt sad because it's finally over. It's like Will & Grace has been a part of my life and now I just couldn't believe it... it's OVER... Let me give you reason of why i love this TV series so much:

1. It's an odd couple Will being gay and Grace being a striaght woman...

2. They were once lovers and now bestfriends!

3. I love their chemistry, like Will just knows what Grace would say given the situation.

4. As for Jack or "JUST JACK" i love him so being gay and for being the way he is...

5. Karen wow! she's really good and i love how she's always looking for a drink and saying things that's senseless that makes the whole show hilarious!

6. Will Truman for being a lawyer and looking fior the right guy for him, he's this type of person you would love to have as a friend.

7. Grace Adler the designer and for being a modern woman. Working and and dating at the same time looking for the right guy same as Will.

8. Rosario, Jack's ex-wife. She has this funny way of giving her lines that's really funny but with a straight face and how she can be even with Karen no matter what she says she has something to say back at her.

9. Special guests that they have shown and how each character connects with the main characters.

10. They have this funny way of showing the deep meaning of friendship.

Well i'm still going to watch their re-runs no matter what happens. Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Maybe It's About Time

I came to a realization that at times we need to make a move or to simply hold our tongue whenever needed. It is best to know when and where to do so. Everyone has her own battle to fight and when things don't go the way you want them to be then maybe it was not meant to be but i do believe that it might just be a blessing in disguise. God has his own way of showing us of when and where to do so.

Sometimes i just can't help to wonder and to worry over things that i know shouldn't be a big deal but the thing is i do. Like for example whenever my boylet goes online there's this 50% that i would be making it a big deal when it shouldn't be but then again this is ME. Nowadays it's more of a fear not jealousy but i will try not to feel this way cause i do trust and love Ian. But still a little space for doubt for me to be satisfied.

Eto na naman ako hahahaha! I do tend to take things seriously but i try my best to make things lighter for me. Ayoko naman ng masyadong serious over things in my life. I am enjoying my life as it is every single day... Kakaloka lang talaga ang life! Lol! Have a nice week ahead of you guys!

"Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout as you did in Rome. Do your worst, for I will do mine! Then the fates will know you as we know you: as Albert Mondego, the man!" Edmond Dantes (The Count of Monte Cristo)

WhY i HaTe It WhEn YoU'rE OnLiNe 2

I did tell him what was on my mind about this whole topic and well he says to me why would i worry of something that means nothing to him. For anyone's information the impulsive side of me did make a special appearance from my last blog. It just so happens that deep inside i have this fear of him meeting somebody online like the last girlalu. I do trust him but then i have this little space for doubt that may or may not grow at all. Maybe it's just normal for me to get worried over little things that may or may not happen at all. But i need to relax and just enjoy my life and every single moment of it. The thing is he knows that i really don't like it when he goes online in a chatroom, viewing strangers and exchanging IM's but if it was in a chatroom and it wasn't like he was into one person then i think i might feel okay wiht it.

Anyway gals and guys thanks for reading my blog and for bearing with me for the last few months with my thoughts. Enjoy the rest of the week!

WhY i HaTe It WhEn YoU'rE OnLiNe...

This past few weeks i go to sleep then wake up early morning to see u still sitting in front of the computer in the chat room. Talking to people you haven't even seen before then they let you view their webcam, i would usually comment on how they look call me judgmental but i am just being sarcastic about the whole thing. I have no idea if you can call this jealousy or whatever. I don't really care. I just hate it eventhough i know deep inside that i am the one you love and not this lowlife b*tches (sorry for th word!) but how could you say that maybe they just needed a friend, don't they even have friends of their own or maybe yet go to a bar or something. If you feel horny eh di ikaskas mo sa pader DUH!!!!!!! As if I care!

I'm sorry guys but i'm a little furious with him, though he doesn't really know it but deep down maybe he does. Sometimes I just let it go because before this was the life you know before i even came into your life but now it's different. I'm not the type who tells you what to do and not to do but then know your action, make sure that I won't feel uncomfortable about it. The thing i hate most is you tell me i can't sleep then you go online for hours, so tell me how can going online make you sleep. DUH???????????? I'm sorry for the rest na ganun ang ginagawa. I just couldn't understand why he does it? I'm just going to pour it here while i haven't confront him but one day i will SOON.... but until then.....

THE BIRTHDAY THAT WAS...

"I think I'd still miss you even if we had never met." Nick Mercer (The Wedding Date)

Though it's been almost a week since my birthday had passed April 1, 2006, i'm still in that mood of celebrating it in my own little world. I did have a very good time on my birthday. We (Ian and Me) bought Chinese foood (Lo Mein, Wanton soup, General Tso's Shrimp) and Cluck-U-Wings and Chicken (wingers and barbecue Ribs-like a gigantic ribs!). I celebrated it at my cousin's house and i did have my cake (ice cream cake given by my cousins). It was just a small get together of family and friends. Nothing really big. The fact that i had most of my loved ones with me during that day was good enough for me to celebrate it.

Got to chat with my tita Josie in the morning and in the afternoon. I also got to chat with my tita tets and got to see my lola in the webcam. What the technology can do just to bring loved ones together. What a birthday I had....

Lately I've been catching The Wedding Date on tv though i've already seen it a couple of times. The line which opens my blog comes from there. When i first saw the movie i didn't really pay attention to it but when i saw it again this line struck me. It was as if i have this light that just turned on for some reason. I guess in the back of my mind that was my line. Syempre if I was the girl eh kikiligin ako and it would send shiver to my spine like someone has blown air at the back of my neck. When I saw the movie this time around I paid attention to every detail of the movie and when it was almost finish I found myself crying at the part where they had this really big fight. I thought damn it's over but deep down since i've already seen the movie eh i know that it was still them... Just wanted to share to you guys this really nice line that touched my heart.

Anyway have a nice weekend ahead of you!

BREATHE

BREATHE

I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face
And i've never been this swept away
All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze
When i'm lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away
The only thing I hear
Is the beating of your heart

CHORUS:
Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
And suddenly i'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby, all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
Slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's suppose to be
I can feel you breathe

In a way I know my heart is waking up
As all the walls come tumbling down
Closer than i've ever felt before
And I know, and you know
There's no need for words right now.

Last night while having a chat with my bestfriend Mylene and she was listening to launchcast radio. A particular song came up, so i said i like the song then she tells me that this is my song. I asked her about the lyirics cause i don't seem to remember the whole thing. I just needed to see it for myself if it's really my song.

She was right all along. This could be one of my songs and the lyrics goes on of how everytime the girl has her lover in her arms she the world fades like their the only one alive. I can't help but think how he (My Ian) has swept me off my feet. I don't really say it to him seriuosly or try not to show it that much but then he knows that I am swept away by him. He knows that he's everything to me and deep down i know that I am too...

Guess i've been watching/ reading too much of romantic movies/romance novels but then i am being true to my feelings. This is who I am. I've become a different person since then... that's it for now guys and gals.. have a nice week...

KNOWLEDGE OF LIFE

"I don't know a lot about everything, but I do know a lot about the part of everything that I know, which is people." Claire Colburn (Elizabethtown 2005)

I love people watching! When i'm in a mall or maybe in a coffee shop i usually people watch as what i call it. I don't know but there's this sense of excitement observing/watching people, maybe for some people it could be weird or they may find it annoying. When you closely watch someone doing something extraordinary without them actually realizing that they have made a big difference in other people's life. I guess for me being there just the thought that I was actually witnessing such things makes me feel satisfied and secured that not all bad things that happens in our life wouldn't turn out good.

Things do happen for a reason. Sometimes we just don't know exactly the reason but in time we'll eventually understand. For instance there's this one incident that happened to me a few years ago. We (with my mom and aunts) went to the mall and once we were there was an instance that i was looking at something at the store and when i turned around there was this cute little girl, she was like this angel sent from above smiling back at me. So what i did was asked her nanny what was her name, it was Tabitha. She just made my day for some unknown reason I felt happy. Then suddenly i remembered it was Mama Mary's birthday September 8. It was like she made her presence felt, that there was somethings in life that are better left unexplained. I guess my people watching has made me understand a part of life not everything but still it's enough for the meantime. I guess i would never get tired of watching people. So have a nice week ahead!

THE DANCE

"The rumba is the vertical expression of a horizontal wish. You have to hold her, like the skin on her thigh is your reason for living. Let her go, like your heart's being ripped from your chest. Throw her back, like you're going to have your way with her right here on the dance floor. And then finish, like she's ruined you for life." Paulina (Shall We Dance?)

When I finally saw this movie it made me realize that it's never too late for anything you want to do in life. Or simply knowing what would make you really happy if something is still missing in life. I was touched when John (Richard Gere's character) finally found what he was looking for in his life. He has almost everything a high paying job being a lawyer and a loving family. For some unknown reason there was something missing, something he was so passionate that when he finally does it you'll be amaze of how good he is with it. It's sort of inspired me and I've been thinking about things lately but I don't want to decide until then...

If you have that passion or drive to do something you like well maybe it's time for you to finally see it through whatever it is that you are passionate about. I do know that most people have this inner passion about certain things in life but for some good reason they just can't do it for now maybe in time, as I always say it IF IT'S MEANT TO BE IT WILL HAPPEN. The movie was not exactly about love, you know the typical where you'll know they'll be ending up together in the end maybe a little bit of a fairytale but then it's not. It seems so real and the honesty of the movie makes it more appealing to audience. I guess if I was a movie critic I would highly recommend it to everyone.


Well that's it everyone have a nice week!

AND I'M BACK IN THE GAME

Yes I'm back writing again... i've been away for a while and now i'm back. The reason why is because i had to study for the stateboard exam. I did miss writing and updating my blog to tell you guys what has been happening in my life. To start it off February the month of love as most would agree with me.... Wow i just realize that i've been gone for a month... That was like the longest for me...

So to start it off two saturday ago we (my Ian and me) went to hang out at my cousin's house but as it turns out we (Cousins kuya JV, Mel and my nephew Lance, Jay and girlfriend Theye, my Ian and Muah!) decided to go out and we went to Edgewater where Mitsuwa (Asian market/food court) , Whole Foods (organic food) and Mini Mall which has Victoria's Secret, Gap, Banana Republic etc.. and we did end up at Panera coffee shop are located. Before meeting up back at Kuya JV's crib we went to a video store and my cousin Jay rent a movie. Arriving at the house we ate dinner and watch a movie The Man Eugene Levy is such a funny, funny man.

Then the following Saturday we (My Ian and me) went to do our laundry and decided to hang out at my cousin's pad where his girlfriend Theye was there, stayed there until we where finished with our laundry and had to go home. Around 6:30pm we went out again with my cousin Jay and his girl Theye plus Cathy our common friend and we went to Target and saw a movie Final Destination 3 (which was not a bad movie but the 1 and 2 was better).

Valentine's Day????? Plans anyone? Oh yeah! Now i remember... We went with my tita Julie and Russ, my cousins Kuya JV and Mel with Lance, My Ian and muah. My tita Julie had already reserved a table for us at Grand Banks Cafe on Valentine's day ahead of time. We had fun and well the funny part was when Lance had to throw his bottle of milk in the middle of the table where the glass of white wine was, he hit it and well to make the story short the wine went to stright at me and Kuya JV. I was wearing a white sleeveless blouse and the not so worst thing was my nephew started to cry when he was scolded for it. What a night!!! Anyway we had so much fun and everyone had a good time.

Life's full of surprises! I should have known better that when my phone rang last Thursday afternoon and thought that my cousin Kuya JV was calling me instead it was Lance who did. I knew it when i kept saying hello and no one was answering like he was listening to my voice. When i bid him goodbye he kept saying Daddy, daddy. I could still picture this cute little boy waving his hand as he holds the phone to say byebye.

So I had my exam last February 27, 2006 Monday. It was a tricky/hard exam but i'm hoping and praying that all the hard work would pay off. First when i got to examination center i didn't know what to do and thoughts where running in my mind like should i register now or wait until my time? So i decided to register which happened so fast that the next thing i knew i was already going into the examination room and ready to take it.

What a month it was!!!!!! Anyway i've got to go just wanted to share with you guys what's new with me. Enjoy your weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"It's my heart, and its broken."

This was what Finn (as in si Ethan Hawke!!!!) said from the movie Great Expectations when he was asked what happened to him. And this very line made me think of how many times a person can be heartbroken by someone he/she loves. No matter what that certain love one had done we still accept them wholeheartedly. We forgive them and take them back. But sometimes it's not the case especially if that person has greatly inlficted you with pain to the point where you start to hate that person. Only time can tell when your heart or ego would be healing and that would be the time you can truly forgive the person.

I'm not saying that you'll be hating the person forever but things change when it happens. You can not even return to the way it used to be like if that is your friend, your friendship could never go back to the way it was when that certain situation happens. Maybe it's different for other people they can just forgive and forget like it never happened but for some of us (yes i am part of those who can forgive but never forget...) we may forgive but never forget or either both.

My heart has been broken so many times that i never thought someone would come along and show me that time heals all wounds no matter how deep. But then there are certain people who keeps breaking my heart may it be a relative or a friend for simlpy doing things that would make my eyes roll all over the place and making my eyebrows rise for the right reasons. I, too can not please everybody, so there might be certain decisions in my life that you might not agree or disapprove of. I know that people closed to me understands and supports me in everything I do.

Sometimes i would come to a certain thinking whenever i talked to a friend or say something that maybe didn't came out right that i might just be a bad person for saying something to that person that he/she might not agree to my opinion. But then this is who I am and this is what i believe in. It's either you accept me for who I am or simply walk away so we wouldn't have to disagree on things. But then I know when and how to simply accept you for who you are and try to comprehend everything about a person's life.

Here I am again being all SERIOUS and my head aches from all these thoughts sometimes. So i do hope everybody enjoys the week ahead......

THE GIFT

January 10, 2006 i received a very unique gift one that i have been hoping to get but still it's just another step forward to a wonderful start of me becoming what i have been dreaming for a couple of years since i've finished college, Mary Grace R. Fule OTR. From now on i would be thinking and breathing as if i am in that position but at the back of my mind still have a little doubt that it might not happen. A little confidence is what i need and a lot of support from loved ones. I do have one lucky charm that when he came into my life everything just fell into place and some other inspiration(?) in studying and i would be thankful knowing that they're negativity would do me good. (still i'm crossing all my fingers!) HAHAHAHA!

I just can't believe that everything's happening so fast ganito pala. True nga ang say ni Mylene no matter how long i have waited when it comes sunod-sunod na siya. My gosh! I don't even know what to feel excited and afraid at the same time...

Mariah Carey Lyrics
I Can Make It Through The Rain Lyrics
When you get caught in the rain with no where to run

When you're distraught and in pain without anyone

When you keep crying out to be saved

But nobody comes and you feel so far away

That you just can't find your way home

You can get there alone

It's okay, what you say is

I can make it through the rain

I can stand up once again on my own

And I know that I'm strong enough to mend

And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith

And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in

You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly

And you'll find what you need to prevail

What you say is

I can make it through the rain

I can stand up once again on my own

And I know that I'm strong enough to mend

And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith

And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And when the wind blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid

There's nothing you can't face

And should they tell you you'll never pull through

Don't hesitate, stand tall and say-ay-yeah-yeah-hey-ey-yeah

I can make it through the rain

I can stand up once again on my own

And I know that I'm strong enough to mend

And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith

And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain

And stand up once again

And I live one more day And

I can make it through the rain( oh Yes you can)

You're gonna make it through the rain...

From one of my favorite singer.... Mariah Carey....

oh well until my next posts! Hope everyone enjoy your weekend!

THE SAD PART

Start of the year 2006 we started off watching two movies on the 2nd and 3rd day of January, 1st Fun with Dick and Jane one of the funniest movie I've seen of Jim Carrey who by the way hasn't lose his touched being one of the best comedian.

2nd we saw KingKong it was a good movie though it was 3 hours long. The effects was awesome even the pre-historic animals such as the big spiders, cockroaches, T-Rex and also other dinosaurs. Then came the end of it and when the mighty Kong had finally found security and trust in a young struggling actress the world was against him due to fear just because he was different. Di ko na ikwento pa basta watch na lang kayo and you'll understand.

That was when I felt a little sad, it was like also feeling Kong's own when he felt he had to let go of that feeling that he is already satisfied and that he can finally give up on his life because he is happy. That's how life is when you have finally found that you are at peace and happy with life sometimes people are like that but mostly we still look for something missing in our life. Maybe as the saying goes an individual couldn't be satisfied with life because there will always be something he/she is looking for but once he/she has found it there would be peace and harmony in life. Just some thoughts for the week. Later friends............ have a nice week!

LATEST SONG OF PAROKYA ni EDGAR

Para Sa'yo

Parokya Ni Edgar

Lumayo ka na sa akin

Wag mo kong kausapin

Parang awa mo na

Wag kang magpapaakit sa akin

Ayoko lang masaktan ka

Malakas ako mambola

Hindi ako santo

CHORUS:

Pero para sa'yo

Ako'y magbabago

Kahit mahirap

Kakayanin ko

Dahil para sa'yo

Handa kong magpakatino

Laging isipin

Lahat ay gagawin

Basta para sa'yo

Hindi ikaw yung tipong niloloko

At hindi naman ako

Yung tipong nagseseryoso

At kahit

Sulit sana sa'yo ang kasalanan

Lolokohin lang kita

Kaya't kung pwede wag nlang dahil

Ayoko ngang masaktan ka

Wag kang maniniwala

Hindi ako santo

Pero para sa'yo

Ako'y magbabago

Kahit mahirap

Kakayanin ko

Dahil para sa'yo

Handa kong magpakatino

Laging isipin

Lahat ay gagawin

Basta para sa'yo

Bakit nakikinig ka pa

Matatapos na ang kanta

Pinapatakas na kita

Mula nung unang stanza

Hinde ka ba natatakot

Baka ikaw ay masangkot

Sa mga kasalanan ko

Pero para sa'yo

Ako'y magbabago

Kahit mahirap

Kakayanin ko

Dahil para sa'yo

Handa kong magpakatino

Laging isipin

Lahat ay gagawin

Basta para sa'yo

Ako'y magbabago

Kahit mahirap

Kakayanin ko

Dahil para sa'yo

Handa kong magpakatino

Laging isipin

Lahat ay gagawin

Basta para sa'yo

Well here's once more one of the latest song of my favorite band Parokya ni Edgar. What people doesn't know or maybe they do these guys have their serious side although hindi masyadong halata cause they usually blend it with some funny anecdotes or for teh fun of it some funny situation. That's my Parokya ni Edgar!

HAPPY THOUGHTS FOR THE NEW YEAR

Just one more night and it's going to be a new year. As the year 2006 enters there's one more special celebration I wouldn't miss. I guess what most of you didn't know is that Ian and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary. (I can't even believe it myself!) Wow! one year had already passed that's the first for me. How time fly so fast. It's just like yesterday that we started going out, talking on the phone each time something interesting or funny that happened on the spot, the "slumber party" every now and then, laundry day date, exchange of lunch for my 'baon na ulam and rice' for McDonald's and a lot of things of how everything had started between us. How i stayed when he asked me to and of all the things he was/is to me.

Totoo na ata to! For real nga say ni mylene lol! I've got so much on my mind right now and still i pray for my dreams to come true. The dream of becoming a professional Occupational Therapist and the dream of somedy having my own business. It's only a matter of time when i finally get it. Then there's still news about telling my parents the truth about Ian and me. Sabi ko nga again it's just a matter of time when i'm ready i know i'll be able to tell them the truth.

Anyway going back about the celebration i've got some plans but we still need to discussed it. Syempre A, B and C ang plans namin. Ewan ko ba i'm excited to clebrate it because it's the first for me i would like it to be special. I know for a fact that this year would be different so i'm looking forward to it. I've got this good vision and how things would be but nevertheless i'm still crossing my fingers. For some unknown reason i know that i'm getting what i want because i know that i deserve it.

Anyway i'm leaving you guys with this quote from Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline's movie French Kiss. I do hope everyone enjoy celebrating the new year. "No matter what I might seem like tonight, it's still the same old me from yesterday you wind up with tomorrow." Kate (French Kiss)

CHRISTMAS PHOTO

Our Christmas 2005 photo... We spent it at his cousin's house. We had receive some great gifts. You could also see some of his relatives behind us.

NEOPET WONDERLAND

So the other day I happened to see this really good friend of mine, see they didn't have classes that day. As it turns out they had to go with their dad to work which made me happy cause I haven't seen them for a while... I'm talking about my boss' 2 young children Daena and Jr. It has been a year or so that I've met this youngster. We even went to the beach together like two summers ago. I've gotten to know them while I was working part time at the Filipino store I used to work at. Anyway since then whenever we see each other we just had such a good time together like I was young again. Talking about cartoons and others stuffs. I know, I know it just so happens that being with these two makes me feel young and well let's face it having them around makes my work lighter, like I don't have to deal with everything so seriously.

So there they were that day and we each exchange our usual greetings and after a while we get back at just basically talking about anything at all. We try to make out the best everytime we see each other and as for my part I try my best to make them feel comfortable and safe around me. So when I got the chance to talk to Daena that day she was still asking me to sign up at Neopet in the internet. Unlike before she was talking non-stop about it but now it was the other way around I keep asking her about it. So needless to say I kept my promise of signing up and we end up exchanging emails. Oh did I forgot to tell you guys that Daena is like 8 or 9 years old and as for Jr his like 7 or 8 years old. Talk about being a child again...lol!

Daena is this really sweet girl and she's also very pretty besides being smart. As for Jr he's this really cute little boy who can brighten up everyone's day with his smile. They both try to annoy me when I work but how can I be annoyed with such sweet and kind kids.

So when I signed up for Neopet, I found it very interesting and it even had games. I discovered a whole new world having a neopet and taking care of it among other stuffs. It was such a cool website. So did my boyfriend Ian who enjoys playing the games. So if ever you guys wants to browse here's the website address: www.neopet.com I do hope you guys enjoy.

What a week that was! Although I've been trying not to take my work little complications at least I got to see them and they did make my week better.

My ToP 10 WiSh LiST CHRiSTMaS 2005

10 ToP WiSH LiST:

1. CD PaRoKYa Ni eDGaR - halina sa parokya (latest); inuman sessions vol 1; jingle balls silent night holy cow; buruguduystunstuguduystuy; khangkhungkherrnitz.... Well i wanted this to complete my collection of their albums...

2. CoMPLeTe SeaSoN oF MeTeoR GaRDeN - Just for the sake to watch how Dao Ming Si and San Cai fall in love over and over again..... Hehehe! sorry guys cheapatoni kasi ako eh....

3. 3RD SeaSoN oF RoSWeLL - another collection of mine....

4. WHoLe DaY aT THe SPa or MaNiCuRe aND PeDiCuRe TReaTMeNT - Syempre i need to kick back and relax and be beautiful. Di ba Mylene?

5. eVeLYN Perfume by CrabTree and Evelyn (i'm not sure kung tama itech!!!!) - favorite ko kasi yan perfume besides Tommy Hilfiger for women..... (hint-hint anyone!!!) hehehehe!

6. A Pair of New SNeaKeRS - For the new year syempre... skechers or reebok or whatever!!! dapat may touch of fink este pink... hehehe!!!

7. OaKLeY TeaSPooN - I've been dying to have a new sunglasses since like forever...

8. a NeW CeLLPHoNe NoKia 8801 - Masyado pa syang mahal right now like $1000 so wait ko muna unless somebody really wants to give me that for a gift exchange gift ko yun current cp ko!

9. a LaPToP CoMPuTeR - Eventually it will happen soon lol!!!!

10. SHoPPiNG SPRee FoR a DaY WiTH $1000 GiFT CeRTiFiCaTe - Wow! Sarap sana no? Hehehe!!!

So where's Santa Claus? Hope he's listening to my top 10 wish list. Anyway enjoy your weekend everyone!!!

OuT oF ReAcH

...out of Reached...

Gabrielle

Knew the signs

Wasn't right

I was stupid for a while

Swept away by you

And now i feel like a fool

So confused,

My heart's bruised

Was i ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far

I never had your heart

Out of reach,

Couldn't see

We were never

Meant to be

Catch myself

From despair

I could drown

If i stay here

Keeping busy everyday

I know i will be ok

But i was

So confused,

My heart's bruised

Was i ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far

I never had your heart

Out of reach,

Couldn't see

We were never

Meant to be

So much hurt,

So much pain

Takes a while

To regain

What is lost inside

And i hope that in time,

You'll be out of my mind

And i'll be over you

But now i'm

So confused,

My heart's bruised

Was i ever loved by you?

Out of reach,So far

I never had your heart

Out of reach,

Couldn't see

We were never

Meant to be

Out of reach,So far

You never gave your heart

In my reach, i can see

There's a life out there

For me

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

"If we live our lives the right way then everything we do can become a work of art." Claire (Six Feet Under)

I've always think that life is not what we just take for granted and waste it on things that doesn't matter to us. Everyone tries their best to make the most out of it. Enjoy life and live it simple. For some reason people would always believed in what they hear and see but wouldn't it be better if you just believe it when you actually experienced it. I guess some people just enjoyed making gossips and letting everyone believe about things.

Well let's change the topic masyado serious. It's another thanksgiving and this is my third time... this time it's different kasi i have someone special. The first one was when I first came here and it was with my cousins. That was a cool and happy thanksgiving because that was my first. The second time was spent at my boss' house at Warren I was with two of my co-worker (Ate Ludy and Ian; my then again friend before there was an US.). It was cool and I have gotten close with my boss' grandkids. Got to meet her husband and kids. This year was quite special I spent it with my cousins and with my boyfriend Ian. I was with the important people in my life and well though the record isn't straight yet with my life I'm happy to know that I am very lucky. I am very thankful of what i have for the moment and of what i become being on my own.

I have my wishlist in my mind for the coming christmas so i just might post it next time... Anyway i do hope everyone enjoy their thanksgiving.

COOL PHOTOS

Some photos taken during Parokya ni Edgar gig at Grand Banks Cafe last November 4,2005.

PAROKYA NI EDGAR 4EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HARANA
uso pa ba ang harana?

marahil ikaw ay nagtataka...

"sino ba 'tong mukhang gago?

nagkandarapa sa pagkanta

at nasisintunado sa kaba..."

meron pang dalang mga rosas

suot nama'y maong na kupas!

at nariyan pa ang barkada

nakaporma, naka-barong

sa awiting daig pang minus-one at sing-along...

puno ang langit ng bituin

at kay lamig pa ng hangin s

a 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw,

giliw at sa awitin kong ito

sana'y maibigan mo

ibubuhos ko ang buong puso ko... s

a isang munting harana... para sa 'yo

hindi ba't parang isang sine?

isang pelikulang romantiko

hindi ba't ikaw ang bidang artista

at ako ang 'yong leading man

sa istoryang nagwawakas

sa pag-ibig na wagas...

puno ang langit ng bituin

at kay lamig pa ng hangin

sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw,

giliw at sa awitin kong ito

sana'y maibigan mo

ibubuhos ko ang buong puso ko...

sa isang munting harana...

para sa 'yo

I was totally speechless when i came upon this knowledge that boyfriend has this plan of taking me to the Parokya ni Edgar concert. Well i wasn't even thinking that it would come true kasi we have this thing of not really making plans when it comes to watching a concert. As for me i was hoping that we would watch it but then again I don't want to be disappointed like last year though at that time there was never an US until this year. Anyway so the day of the concert (November 4) came and though part of me was praying for that day to end so we can finally go to the concert. Syempre i was confident that we will be really there na kasi Ian keeps reminding me about it. He was talking non-stop about it the whole day. It was a touching moment for me realizing how important I was to him.

When we arrived at the venue i started to looked around for familiar faces baka kasi may mga naligaw ako na kakilala anyway there were lots of people and i was surprised to see different generations. Mostly young people or people around my age who were there. The common denominator was we were all Filipinos. The show started past 8 pm, the front act was a new jersey based band called something... i feel sorry for them because i can not remember their name anyway they were good and most of the peeps enjoyed their songs. Then the announcer said that after the front act there would be another one syempre the peeps were annoyed already by this time kasi nga they've been waiting for a long time for PNE to perform tapos may other band pa before them. What we didn't know eh sila na pala. First there was dindin checking his guitar then Buwi appeared and so as Gab and Darius. At first they were checking they're instruments. The whole crowd went wild to see them and after a while they started shouting Chito's name the vocalist but he didn't appeared yet after 10-15 minutes he did. Although they were already drank while performing they were really good. Ang kukulit nga nila and still they showed that they were definitely one of the BEST band in the Philippines.

They played were the following: Sayang, Harana, SilverToes, Para Sayo, Don't touch my Birdie, This guy's in love with you pare, Halaga, Yes yes show, Buloy, Mr. Suave, Chikinini... and the list goes on!

Once again they blew me away especially when I saw Buwi see among the group he has been my crush since i discovered them. Grabe ang galing talaga nila. From the moment Chito sang i was singing along with him as well as the crowd. The crowd just goes wild with every song they perform.

Though the place was small everyone got to enjoy the concert and well it was worth it. This the first time i've ever see them perform live. I did saw a friend there, Mayla she was with her husband.

With that let me end this with another song.

SAYANG

sayang bakit hindi kita niligawan

ngayon akoy nanghihinayang

kasi naman tatanga-tanga pa ako noon

walang humpay na paghintay sa hindi

dumarating na pagkakataon

lagi naman kitang nakakasama

ewan ko kung bakit ba wala pa ring nagagawa

kahit na napakadali mong kausapin

ewan ko ba kung bakit ang hirap pa ring aminin

madalas naman tayong naglolokohan

dinadaan ko nalang sa biro ang tunay kong nararamdaman

kaya siguro hindi mo sineryoso ang aking mga sinabi

yan tuloy walang nangyari

kakalipas lamang ng isang sem

nung makita kita na mayroon ibang kasama

magkahawak ang inyong mga kamay

ang dibdib ko ay sumikip

ang paglunok ko ay naipit

aking napatunayan na nasa huli ang pagsisisi

para bang gusto kong umiyak ngunit para saan pa

wala namang magagawa